Confusion
My life is not the best in the world. Through all the blogs I have written anybody can see that I feel that thoroughly. Out of all my problems, other people I love and am friends with and people who effect my life and are in my life start to experience my feelings. I really dont want to show my feelings. Well, sometimes I do but most the time I dont. I dont want to stand on stage and sing out how frustrated I am with my step mother. I dont want to make the world a "better" place by yelling out my feelings. I dont even think that my feelings last long enough to even try to do that. It is like 5 minute tornadoes spinning through my head. Today I had 1000 different feelings effecting my day. At first I was very happy and hyperactive. Then I was really lazy and bored. Then I got anxious and upset that I found out I had to move into an unfinished basement within the next few weeks and I wont have really any furnisher besides a bed and a small bookshelf. Someday I will be getting a small desk that I picked out over a month ago, but I dont know when yet. Then I felt sad and hated and misunderstood because of my stupid feelings. I dont hate Heidi. There are times that I feel like I could hate her, but there are also the good times when I feel like she is the coolest, most understanding person in the world. Sadly that feeling has not come for a while. I feel like all of the people I know on dads house hate me. I am only eleven! I am supposed to make mistakes. I am not shore if I am supposed to be so jumbled up, but I guess that is what happens if you have the problems and responsibilities that I have. This is probably not the best place to write my feelings, but it is the only thing i have got. With all the feelings I have, my hand gets way too cramped up to write in a diary.